God Only Took My Hand / Janice God Only Took My Hand
Last night in sleep I heard a voice. A voice I love so dear. I opened my eyes and looked around but he did not appear. He said, "You've got to listen. You've got to understand." "God didn't take me from you, He only took my hand." "When I cried out to God that day. The instant that I died," "God reached out and took my hand, and pulled me to his side." "He pulled me up and saved me from the misery and pain," "My mind so badly hurting I could never be the same." "My depression now is ended, I've found happiness within." "All the answers to my emptiness and all that might have been." "I love you all and miss you so. Please don't keep asking why." "My body's gone forever, but my spirit did not die." "So live until we meet again. Please try to understand," "God didn't take me from you. He only took my hand."
Alan--I am so sorry you were unable to fight your addiction. I fought an 8 year long battle with a crack/cocaine addiction-that's why I lost touch with you. I wish I had known and been able to help you in some way. I wish you had had a better and happier ending to your addiction like I did. I still raise monarch butterflies every year and always think of you when I set them free, Now I will think about you being free from your pain and suffeing to to your addiction every tome I release monarchs in the fall.. You have always been and always will be in my mind and in my heart.\
Alan--I am so sorry you were unable to fight your addiction. I fought an 8 year long battle with a crack/cocaine addiction-that's why I lost touch with you. I wish I had known and been able to help you in some way. I wish you had had a better and happier ending to your addiction like I did. I still raise monarch butterflies every year and always think of you when I set them free, Now I will think about you being free from your pain and suffeing to to your addiction every tome I release monarchs in the fall.. You have always been and always will be in my mind and in my heart.\
Our pain is one / Linda Dionisio (pos)
I am so sorry for your loss, your pain and sorrow. I too lost someone I love very much to suicide. My son Joseph who was 23 and completed suicide on May 9, 2005. Alan fought a tough battle, he was a valient person. It touched me very much to read about him here on your beautiful tribute site for him. Life is not easy and for some it is even harder. My son fought his demons, as well. I understand the depression and pain he lived with every day and know it was just too much to bare. Your Alan was a beautiful person and I know that he is in paradise along with my son and all of our loved ones. They are happy and at peace and their only sorrow is for us, because we are still here fighting our own battels every day. I know that words are just not enough, but please know that I wish I could hug you and let you see what is in my heart for Alan and his loving family and friends. God bless Alan always, he is in the arms of our Blessed Mother and today he is in paradise. Close
I feel your pain . . . / Kaila (none)
I lost my mother to alcoholism almost 2 1/2 years ago and would just like to say how sorry I am for your loss. Close
Words aren't adequate enough to express some thoughts / Janet Studdard ((FFOS Friend) )Read >>
Words aren't adequate enough to express some thoughts / Janet Studdard ((FFOS Friend) )
Janice, I am so sorry for the loss of your husband Alan. You, his kids, your kids and all your family members are in my prayers and thoughts. I hope you have been able to little by little heal and gain some inner peace. Believe me I know that is not an easy task.
Do you ever wonder if Alan is still watching over us?
I can honestly say YES. Alan is with me, even when I don't "feel" him. Yesterday, I had the task of having to mow the lawn for the first time this year. It was Alan's job to do that when he was alive, mostly because I have asthma and grass is one of my worst allergens. I tried, with everything I have, to get that stupid mower started. No go. I looked up into the beautiful Pennsylvania sky and said, "Alan, help me here." A cabbage butterfly flew by and hesitated over a screw on top of the mower. (Cabbage butterflies are significant because I could never remember their name. I would irritate Alan and call them Broccoli. LOL) I drug the mower to the garage again, and removed the screw. Ewwww. I cleaned the filter, replaced it, and the mower started right up!
Alan, Thank you for being with me.
I have forgiven both of us for what you felt that you had to do and the pain that was left. I can only imagine what you must have been feeling that dark day last August. I know that you had to be incredibly ill to feel that this was your only solution. I cannot believe that you were in your right mind. You would have never left your children or me. I only wish I had seen the depth of your despair.
Thank you for being with me. I still need you if only in spirit. It's spring now. You know how crazy I made you. Sorry, I still can't stop. You have shown me that life is only a glimmer of time. I'm embracing every moment I can. Your passing has not slowed me down at all. You only re-arranged my priorities. I'm more determined to live every moment I have left. I amaze myself at the determination I have and the fact that I have survived this hell.
I'm back in school now. I've seen the pain that suicide causes. In your honor, I've gone to school to earn my BS in Psychology. I want to help those children to see that it's not the answer, and to help those that are left behind. Thank you, Alan. I have direction and a purpose.
Bless your Angel... / Tina Dore Angel Gene Bungay
Just stopping by to send my prayers and say hello to this very special angel. Praying our Angels watch over us every moment of everyday.
Come With Me God saw that you were suffering and a cure was not to be, So He put His arms around you and whispered, "Come with me". Through tear filled eyes we watched you suffer and slowly fade away. Although we loved you deeply, we could not make you stay. A golden heart stopped beating, Hard working hands were put to rest. God broke our hearts to prove to us He only takes the best.
Merry Christmas / Janice (Wife)
Merry Christmas darling. I wish you were still here. I still cry a tear a day for you. This past week, it has been so many, I feel like I'm caught up to 2010.
I spoke to Ma three times this week. Her heart is breaking for us both, you and I. Mine breaks for her too. She should not have to spend a Christmas without one of her own. We sent each other flowers this year. It was a pleasant surprise.
I never did get in touch with Emily or Molly. Their mom took them on vacation this week. I guess she wanted to get their minds on something else. Their gifts will wait until I do see them. I hope it will be soon. I really do miss them.
I hope you have found peace. I hope I will some day. Sometimes I just don't think I can go on anymore. This is the hardest thing I have ever done.
Well, the vacation we had planned for months has come and gone. No, I could not go without you. Aruba would not be fun alone. I'm not sure I could ever visit that beautiful island. Maybe someday I'll be able to find another.
I cannot believe you have been gone for almost 4 months. I also cannot believe it has only been 4 months. I am so not the person I was. At this point, I'm not sure who I am anymore. People around me say I'm doing great....I deserve an award for the acting I have been doing!
Christmas is coming and I feel so numb inside. I'm trying to continue with the Campbell traditions......how hard is that for me when I was only a Campbell for 13 months? I was able to make English Toffee come out right the first time. I don't know how, but I did. Not bad, eh?
I have not heard from the girls. I have gifts for them, so I hope to see them soon. I'll do my best to take care of them for you. I love them like my own. I am so missing you.
I wanted to share with you this poem I wrote on the 2 month anniversary of My Angel Gene being in Heaven. I wrote this poem for all us survivors in hopes it gives us all some comfort. I hope you find comfort from the words. May God be with you all and Alan please watch over your family & friends show them the signs of Peace & Love and give them the strength and guidance they need. Love always, Tina <333
A Tribute to Survivors... By Tina M. Dore Written: 12/12/05
we are survivors that is all we know we must stand together and not alone
we must carry on our loved one name we must not sit back and take the blame
we can not blame ourselves for the choice they made Although we wish they would have stayed
life is full of pain & suffering by far we can only imagine there anguish who they thought they are
they couldn't see the love and a better way they felt they needed to end their life this way
they needed to take control of their painful life they needed to feel peace wanted to get rid of all the strife
so now we are here left to grieve left to feel only what we believe
so many questions that will remain unanswered to us the only thing we can do with others is discuss
discuss the sadness, the pain and the fears we cling to each other and dry each others tears
so we are now the survivors a new group of friends we are the survivors we didn't ask to set these trends
we are the survivors and must learn to carry on we are the survivors we each need to depend on
our lives have been forever changed our time with our loved one has been shortchanged
so take this message and know in your heart that your loved one is an angel and has made a new peaceful start
forever love them and speak of them with tears of joy save on to your precious memories its those you must enjoy
my father / Molly Campbell (youngest daughter )
though my father, your time is done i fear for your passing, you were to young no one understands what kind of pain could have driven a man with what seemed like a wonderful life to an act so grim. i love you daddy. i wish you hadnt of left. Close
Prayers and thoughts / Debbie Montomery (passerby)
I was just passing by and wanted to tell you I am so sorry for your loss. I saw your web-site on FFOS, I am also a member not by choice as you I am sure, I lost my 17 yr old stepson to suicide June 30,2005. He was such a wonderful young man. Prayer is so awesome, I will say a special one for you and your family. God be with ya'll Close
Hi Janice , I am so sorry for the loss of your husband . So glad you started a site in his memory. I just recently started one for my nephew who we lost to suicide in 1997 . My prayers are with you and your family .
Alan/ Michael Campbell (Brother)
Alan,
You never stopped being my brother, and I never stopped loving you. You will always be in my thoughts and prayers. I wanted you to have a happy and joyful life.
Michael Close
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